Navigating Single Motherhood by Choice

Today, more and more women are choosing to raise children on their own. Whether you haven’t yet found the right partner, want to have children before your fertility declines, or simply prefer to parent on your own, single motherhood is a perfectly valid choice. Let’s talk about navigating single motherhood and what you can do to make it an amazing experience. 

Plan Ahead

Any mother will tell you that no matter how much you plan, there are always surprises during pregnancy, birth, and while raising a child. Still, since you won’t have a partner to share responsibilities, it’s important to prepare before becoming pregnant.

You’ll want to first consider the financial aspects of having a child, along with the expense of fertility treatments, hospital bills, and all the ordinary expenses that come with parenting. It’s a good idea to have a comfortable amount saved so you don’t have to worry while you’re pregnant.

Start thinking now about how you envision your life with your new baby, too. Who will be involved in your baby’s life? What daycare will you use? Will you hire a regular babysitter? How much time will you need to take off work? And importantly, who will have guardianship of your child if anything ever happens to you? The more questions you can answer ahead of time, the better prepared you’ll feel. 

Build Your Support System

Choosing to be a single mother doesn’t mean you won’t need support. The saying, “It takes a village to raise a child,” is true. Start thinking about your village, and who might be willing to help. This might include parents, friends or siblings who can step in when you’re desperate for a nap, could use a little adult conversation, or just find yourself in need of a sounding board. Start building your support system now. You’ll need it! 

Learn About Third-Party Reproduction

Take some time to educate yourself on your third-party options, including if you plan to ask a friend to be a sperm donor, or prefer an anonymous donor. You’ll want to consider qualities important to you in a donor, like ethnic heritage, specific physical characteristics or even age. While it’s incredible to be able to choose exactly what you want in a sperm donor, it’s also a huge decision and important

You should schedule a consultation to discuss your options for conceiving. You and your doctor will discuss whether it’s a good idea to start with home insemination, opt for intrauterine insemination, or harvest your eggs and conceive through in vitro fertilization. A fertility specialist can carefully assess your unique fertility needs and help you choose the best path. 

Carefully Create Your Birth Plan

A detailed birth plan is especially important as a single mother. It’s also a good idea to have a birth partner with you, whether it’s a close family member, trusted friend, or a midwife/doula. You’ll appreciate the support during the process.

Don’t forget to have someone lined up to help you if you go into labor at an unexpected time, someone who, if necessary, you can call in the middle of the night to drive you to the hospital. 

Getting Much-Needed R&R 

Once your baby has finally arrived, you’ll no doubt be eager to cherish every precious moment. But you’ll also likely be exhausted. Try to line up your village beforehand, whether it’s your mother, babysitter or best friend who can come by for a few hours while you take a nap.

As your baby gets older, you’ll still need some time for yourself. Think about how you want that to look, and who you might get to babysit while you get out. There’s also daycare options to consider, especially if you have a full-time career. It’s all too easy to run yourself ragged as a single mother. Do your best to schedule downtime to rest and relax for both your mental and physical health. 

Consider Joining a Support Group

Although women are increasingly opting for single motherhood, you may not have anyone in your own social circle who’s chosen the same path, and some who may even be judgmental of your choice. 

It’s important to have people in your life who know, understand, and support what you’re going through. Many women find that joining a support group for single mothers is invaluable. Whether you want tips on meal planning or need to discuss a weightier issue, like how to address questions about your child’s father, there’s always someone who knows what you’re going through. Being able to speak with others who intimately understand the challenges and joys involved in navigating single motherhood by choice often makes all the difference in the world.

Would you like to learn more about becoming a single mother by choice, or are you already eager to begin your journey? Contact us today to schedule a consultation.